I was doing The Work of Byron Katie today on my brother and had no idea how high of a pedestal I had him on and how much pain that is causing within me. Who can live up to those sorts of expectations?! Poor guy. I spent the weekend with family and noticed how uncomfortable and tense I was around him and had no idea what was going on in my head around that. That’s why I love The Work so much.. it takes me to the areas that really need attention and healing.
My time with him brought up all sorts of things.. how I compared myself to him growing up and how I never felt good enough. He was older, smarter, funnier, more popular,bigger, strong, more able. And at 40 years old I still feel inferior to him. Sounds crazy doesn’t it?! It’s because it really is.
I had no idea I still held those ideas about him.
So the general unquestioned belief I seem to have about most things is “I’m not good enough”.
The other regular belief that seems to run rampant is “there is something seriously wrong with me”..
Is that true?
So I’m running those concepts and more through The Work and see what comes out on the other end. Hopefully more kindness and love.
No one is ever THAT good OR THAT bad it seems. And tip too far to either side and it just seems like either concept causes undue suffering really.
